日本語 ｜ 繁體中文 ｜ English ｜ 한국어 ｜ Tiếng Việt
The photos
“Uploading the photos from the farewell party.”
Twelve of them, in the group chat.
I go through them, one by one.
The guest of honor, our senior colleague, holds a bouquet.
Beside them, I am laughing.
Mouth wide open, my eyes nearly gone.
I spread two fingers to zoom in.
At the corner of my eye, three fine lines had opened like a fan.
Lines I had never seen in the mirror.
The mirror
Before heading out, I try a smile in the mirror by the front door.
I lift only the corners of my mouth.
I keep my eyes still.
However many times I try, the lines don’t appear.
All that week, I wore that face.
When I nodded to people in the elevator.
When someone told a joke at lunch.
On Friday evening, the junior colleague at the next desk said, in a small voice,
“Are you… angry about something?”
The words lifted, just slightly, at the end.
“I’m not angry,” I answer, smiling with only the corners of my mouth.
On the train home, I look up the lines at the corners of the eyes.
There was a study that asked people to compare photos of smiles from before and after a treatment to soften those wrinkles.
The smiles with lines at the eyes looked more heartfelt.
Once the lines were gone, the faces did look younger.
But, it seems, they did not look any more attractive.
Apart from how broad a smile is, those lines are apparently read as a sign of whether it is real.
My face is reflected in the dark window.
Perhaps, all this week, my face had looked angry to the person at the next desk.
Once you find them, you want to hide them.
Anyone who has taken care of their face would, I think.
Practice strokes
On Saturday, a colleague and I rent a table.
I settle in behind the cue ball and swing the cue forward, back, forward.
The tip travels up to just short of the cue ball, then comes back.
However many times I swing it, the ball doesn’t move.
I follow all the way through.
The cue ball begins to roll.
A few shots in, my colleague’s ball bounces off two cushions and drops into a pocket nobody was aiming for.
“I didn’t mean that one.”
My colleague bursts out laughing first.
And then I laugh too, out loud.
From somewhere in my stomach, before I can stop it.
My cheeks rise, and the balls on the table blur into narrow shapes.
Night
Before bed, I put a little cream at the corners of my eyes.
With my ring finger, pressing it gently in.
Then I open the farewell party photos once more.
Next to the bouquet, a face laughing so hard the eyes have all but vanished.
The three lines, still there.
In the photo, I was really smiling.
Why not make pool your next beauty habit?
👉 I used to think the longer, the better.
👉 See the Yokohama Billiard Hall Guide
References
- Etcoff, N., Stock, S., Krumhuber, E. G. & Reed, L. I. (2021). A novel test of the Duchenne marker: Smiles after botulinum toxin treatment for crow’s feet wrinkles. Frontiers in Psychology, 11, 612654. doi:10.3389/fpsyg.2020.612654
- Miller, E. J., Krumhuber, E. G. & Dawel, A. (2022). Observers perceive the Duchenne marker as signaling only intensity for sad expressions, not genuine emotion. Emotion, 22(5), 907-919. doi:10.1037/emo0000772
👉 Billiards resources from Japan and around the world, organized by purpose: Billiards in Depth (latest updated hourly)
